Cherubs Wired Differently

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I write
ready for whetting thesis that
reared worth-reported-nurtured-net-zero cherubs wired differently
will try and try to bystanders please,
yet years and years understaters see them as beasts,
until their certain withered selfs are potently puny
and rest they pray urges them
to stop treading tear-filled waters and give up.

This is my story.
Teaming with Dr. Carol Cujec and Dr. Robert Friedman
eased I am that epic book is written.
Joined with Stacey Glick and Mary Norris, my truths are freed.
Thank you Esteemers.

– Peyton Goddard, author of  i am intelligentFrom Heartbreak to Healing
A Mother and Daughter’s Journey through Autism 

Presenting at the 23rd Annual San Diego People First Self-Advocacy Conference

EACH PERSON IS VASTLY VALUABLE

Peyton Goddard. Learn about one woman’s journey from segregation toward inclusion. Discuss how we can use advocacy to help the world understand that we belong together and are better together.

 

May 11, 2013

Introduction to my presentation.

I am glad to celebrate with you that all persons are PEOPLE FIRST!

In this reported worrisome, hurtful world, you and I care to help all understand that each person has valuable gifts to share. Vast peace will be created when all people are treasured, respectfully supported to be their very best sweet seeded self.

Proclaim I—you awesome are! Greet your sweet self as feeling wallowed in freed worth. Get ready up pepping , “yes very valuable I am.” New destinations are best tread by yearners freeing their stresses and steering their courageous truths to try, try. When hit by others’ hurtful horrors, we can reply by either hitting bitter back, or say try I to understand that injustices are inflicted by those who try falsely to feel their value by needing to hurt others. Estimate I that anger in this pesty world is because pierced persons think hurting others will strip their own hurts away. Saw I that revenge hurts most the person storing it.

After decades of torture, still each dawn I struggle to feel my worth. Each dawn I activate my peppy, “being kind to me” voice. I say, “You awesome are. Let your awesomeness feed your tread to be the very best you! “ My quest now is to quell my nerves and verbally speak again. Whatever your quest, know you awesome are, and very each of you awe me!!!!!

Reflections from a Proud Dad

Pat and Peyton at Graduation

Pat and Peyton at Graduation

Peyton Goddard, Valedictorian June 5, 2002

For Peyton and family, living in San Diego for many decades has been a non-stop southern California wonder.  No winter snow shovels needed at our house and, come spring, we know that the graduation season will soon be in full bloom because the wisteria that was winter bare one week seemingly explodes overnight into deep bluish-purple waterfalls. Soon graduation season will be upon us and equally soon the valedictorians will have honed their academic skills and practiced their speeches, saying farewell to their school while imparting sentiments of gratitude or calls to action.

In early spring of 2002, the Dean of Cuyamaca Community College informed fourth year student and my beloved daughter Peyton that her academic accomplishments (never before achieved in the U.S. by a non-verbal, autistic person) qualified her as the class valedictorian. “Congratulations!” It was a complete surprise to our family (possibly not to Peyton) to learn that despite her challenges, out of the entire class she had the most credits and the highest GPA. Yet as the Dean concluded her visit, she asked Peyton to submit the final draft of her speech a week before graduation for the administration’s approval. Was this reasonable request a new policy this year, my wife and I wondered? We had all heard the valedictorian speech the previous year, in which the young man  stated in his speech, “My parents tell me that when I was a little baby, I used to turn my stroller upside down and continuously spin the wheels. (Loud audience laughter.) My dad used to think I was autistic because of this. (Loud audience laughter.) But somehow, because I’m standing up here today, I don’t think that’s really true. (Loud audience laughter.)

Perhaps at that time few could have imagined that Peyton would be the next valedictorian, as she faced her heaviest academic load yet in her upcoming final year.  But she was, and she spent 42 hours writing it while taking her finals.  Peyton asked her best friend from childhood, Hollyn, to read her remarkable speech for her at the ceremony.

Surprisingly the administration first requested that only Hollyn (not Peyton) stand at the podium during the valedictorian speech. They asked Peyton to sit in the audience and simply stand when she was introduced. In a final appeal on the very morning of the graduation ceremony, Peyton told the new college President that she was up to the task and that it was important for her to be seen at the podium so that all could understand the support that went into her achieving such an award. Peyton’s demonstration of respect and humility turned the tide and won the administration’s  approval to stand tall at the podium.

So, the two young women, stood side by side, holding hands and then Hollyn, after a flawless reading, eased behind Peyton at the podium and let the standing ovation be given solely to the deserving valedictorian. All eyes were focused on Peyton and none showed pity, just pride and admiration. Tears of joy were a plenty.  Her time, now given to history, ended with Pey’s unbowed head, full eye-contact with her audience, and the slightest of smiles. Above the din, one classmate hollered, “We love you Peyton!”

Most often, valedictorian speeches are given once and then carefully shelved with the other memorabilia and memories, but it seems to this proud dad that  Peyton’s speech was written to be timeless …. Its simplicity and wisdom deserve to live on in history. Peyton had written a speech that reached out in a “call to action” and chose not to include a “farewell.” Her speech emphasized the importance of neverending trust and love.

The Peyton Goddard Scholarship Foundation

In her graduation announcement, Peyton requested no gifts.  Instead, she suggested donations to an annual scholarship to be set up in her name to help students “similar to her.”

“I liking not presents for myself, but wish quest
to establish a scholarship for future students similar
to myself to experience as I have the wisdom of Cuyamaca College.”

By July, 2002 contributions had risen above $5,000 and were being held by the College under the Peyton Goddard Scholarship Foundation Fund. This money was designated by Peyton to be a single $500.00 annual scholarship awarded in the Spring to the successful applicant. The award required that the applicant read Peyton’s valedictorian speech and write a one-page essay based on Peyton’s question:
          “If you were wise enough to changer of our world be, what would you dearly,
carefully, effectively and realistically initiate and why?”

This scholarship fund ensures that Peyton’s wisdom imparted in her speech will live on. As the applicant reads the speech it is hoped that the importance of global harmony is also supported in the Cuyamaca College community; each of us plays a critical role in creating paths to  peace.  Peyton asks the applicants to think about how to make the world a better place, how they can impact the world through their positive actions and encouraging the inclusion of all people in order to achieve a lasting peace. The core message from her speech still applies today and most certainly into the future. Peyton wrote about 9/11 and Iraq but the same messages apply to today’s circumstances in North Korea or the Middle East. Her message of unity, inclusion and universal love continues to ring out in her ongoing efforts as an advocate and writer. Her memoir I Am Intelligent was released on June 5, 2012, ten years to the day of her graduation.  In it she tells the story of her journey, the experiences that etched and forged her wisdom, strength and personhood–her understanding of unity and oneness in all creation. As she says, “All people are vastly valuable. Treasure all because great is each.”

Apply for the Peyton Goddard Scholarship

 

Speaking to Future Speech Language Pathologists at CSU San Marcos, Professor Jodi Robledo, PhD. April 8, 2013

On My Way

Describe the supports that are most helpful for you in your communication and interaction with others? 

Try to look at opportunities for each person to join in. Look for poured out, certained powers in awesome are all. Opt supporting I to respectfully including get. You can free sad in persons by in your best, be butter my best. Yes, very upping epitome I’m valuabled to try each best be I can. It eases all. You and I. 

—–Words of wisdom for future Speech Language Pathologists.

Peyton:

I’m pointed telling you that thousands want to tell queasy they are becased in returtured-be bodies, that I have too. There they scared are  by fears they cannot neatly move. Opportunities wasted and wepted sad, they are;  I am too. Worrying they are as trying, trying trying to dependably speak, awed that they will resters be never. Greedy they are to heard their motor madness teases answered with resistanced returned to greet real  opportunities to move try pointed reliabled.  You can help by assurances you understand their trying, and will not stop searching for the best way to free their voices. There their tears are eased, impressed by trusted that you will help them. Try FC. I’m rest get by supported typing.

Think of yourself as Communication Innovators . Try to right epic wrongs by greeting all as communicators, wanting each cherub to be errored and awed not. You can seed their trust by estimating they CAN free their very important voices .

 

A Short Walk that Crossed Worlds – L.A. Affairs

Awesome, potent relationships are desired by all persons.

A short walk that crossed worlds – L.A. Affairs

Falling

One is usually able to classify in stages the joy of falling in love. The first stage is called “hoping.” Each time a person is involved in the hoping stage, he or she usually dares to notice the object of his or her noticed affection. The daring to allow oneself to hope that the desired someone will return the hoped-for glance is very dangerous to each individual ego and causes anxiety during this initial phase.

Consequently, before joy can actually occur, one must move to the next stage, titled “hoping for more.” In fact, very often just allowing oneself to experience this emotion is the greatest adjustment for the individual. Joy includes elation, excitement, and agitation, all at the same time. Getting through this stage is a seemingly endless, monumental feat that brings with its achievement the realization that one can never turn back when he or she enters the third and final stage.

It is in this “point of no return” phase when one commits oneself to the vulnerability of suffering each gut-wrenching emotion and  possible great horror of every verifiably painful behavior believable to man and woman in the universe. All should be cautioned that the danger in this phase is behaving in asinine ways that embarrass and may jilt each great hope one has for a naturally pleasurable resolution to the crisis going on in each heart and reasoning brain, if rational thought is still able to be achieved.

Sadly, the outcome is usually predictably negative because the proven statistical odds of one’s daring hope reaching fruition are nil to minute. But if each of the two people feels the same joy about the other, then hope is borne. And if this can happen, the freedom of love is realized and achieved.

- by Peyton Goddard, from i am intelligent: From Heartbreak to Healing – A Mother and Daughter’s Journey Through Autism, skirt! 2012

Speaking Out on the Use of Seclusion and Restraints in Schools –Part 1

Dianne:

In 1985 Peyton’s speech pathologist and occupational therapist joined me on a visit to Marshall Institute, all three of us agreed that Peyton would indeed have a problem there. Observing the class, I felt the interaction between students and teachers was detached and mechanical. Children sat in chairs across from adults who gave short, two- to three-word commands, waited for a response, made a mark on a graph, then repeated the command: Stay in chair…Quiet hands… Pick up pencil. Adults robotically repeated commands if the task was not robotically accomplished. Zero marked on graph…failed. Check marked on graph…Good job…give child a Cheerio…still no emotion. Peyton’s therapists and I knew this approach would be frustrating for her, especially with her rising anxiety and perplexing behaviors.

To me, school should be an interaction between student and teacher, a teacher who expresses the attitude of “I know you can learn, and I can teach you.” Here, I did not hear, see, feel, smell or taste anything but behavioral control, and my mind flashed to the sea lion show at the San Diego Zoo. Even the ever-changing one-on-one aides worked with children on rote, repetitive tasks seemingly to accumulate data…and swiftly punished failure. I felt I was on a planet in a distant galaxy. Yet, I was told, spots at Marshall Institute were in demand and—lucky for Peyton—there was one opening for the summer program, which would guarantee a slot for the fall. There were no more forks in the road as the San Diego Unified School District ejected Peyton from its programs. Years too late, I would learn that in 1985 the district did indeed hire aides to support some children. Years too late, I would realize that these private “schools” are actually institutions, big boxes that for seven hours a day lock children in and parents out.

—a passage from i am intelligent

Peyton:

In 1985, tread-tipper for I was I’m epitome tears by 5 years operated rest-greeted-nary, tread-greet-hell in a sorry, re-tortured, sweet-nary, sour “school” that re-tortured I by trying to control I by locking I up. Thugs there swept I to rest hung in fears to tread.  Freed getting I’m trying still now. 

Rest in a child is treasured peace. Each time a child is locked up, it is heard as heart break. Troubled tears see feasibility of freedom estimated denied. Red emotions eek testy into the dear child eager to get rest in freed be. Wastes greet their testy teases with fright that re-tortures will never end.

Yet rest ignored me as I’m locked away in hidden rooms that pointed loudly “I’m worthless.” I wanted to tell the agony, but I could not. Option I rest was lost in greeting fears feeling I’m gum in gutter. I’m traumatized. I’m sad.  It is the very keyed lock that I’m feared. It made me, littered in less, freezed in tears, lit ill, desirer of death. I wanted tears to melt but my heart fears I’m next in returned to closet. With each looming locking, part of me is pity-killed: I’m hit, I’m hung low, I’m messy molested. It jestered I to nutty. In my now journey to dear myself, I’m each dawn jittery still. I’m trying to heal. But locks re-torture. No certain child should greet locks.

 

Trapped

How it feels to be trapped in a body that does not do what my mind tells it to do:

It is hell. Young, you waste, by messages from your mind errored by your boggy body that you mask as “I’m greeting saturated insanity.” You learn “I’m not trusty powered by my ordering my own nutty neurons.” You try to heart understand “I’m a freak.” In I, tread I tears I cannot rest, as I try to sweeten my thousand horror thoughts that confirm “I’m errorer of me.” I live scared of my own body, fretting that I cannot move it as my mind requests, upping red fears I will fail, wasting in agony yet another opportunity.

There I’m not understood. Pity pouting distresses in I get punishing, shaming my heart and stripping the reason to live right out of I.

It is how you supply I with poignant, sured, kind, pured support that I hunger for, that best ceases my hell.

How could anyone possibly imagine trapping humans with the painful infliction of powerful electric shocks being anything but traumatic, abusive torture to tryers like me?

Link to “31 Shocks,” New York Magazine, Jennifer Gonnerman, September 2, 2012
http://nymag.com/news/features/andre-mccollins-rotenberg-center-2012-9/